


Realization

by 19Mrs_Selai19



Category: Septiplier - Fandom
Genre: America, Anger, Boston, Dublin (City), Falling In Love, Fandom, Hotel Sex, Hotels, Ireland, Los Angeles, Love, Love Confessions, M/M, Markiplier - Freeform, PAX East, Porn With Plot, Septiplier - Freeform, Septiplier AWAY!, cinnamontoastken - Freeform, hopelessness, jacksepticeye - Freeform, panel, pewdiepie - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-22
Updated: 2017-08-13
Packaged: 2018-09-19 05:16:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 13,519
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9420263
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/19Mrs_Selai19/pseuds/19Mrs_Selai19
Summary: Jack's POV:„You followed me and then two days later you followed me“ I say heading to Mark who's sitting right next to me on stage.„Alright“ Felix responds with a smile on his face.„And then you got jealous“ I rag Mark with an ambiguous smile.„Did I get jealous??“ Mark asks me and the crowd , especially the fan-girls, goes crazy.„Have you followed him?! I found him first! He's mine!“ the red-haired guy says to Felix.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey Guys,  
> so this is the first chapter of my very first fanfic.  
> Please excuse some mistakes in the text, I wrote it at night and was very tired, also I'm not a native speaker :P :D  
> So let me know what you think about it!  
> Suggestions are also welcomed!  
> And I also would enjoy Reading some Comments from You guys ☺  
> If You Want to,there's also a Septiplier-Video on my youtube-channel,Go ahead and watch it! (YouTube-nickname:Mrs.Selai)  
> https://youtu.be/zP7sZNfD-5A  
> Enjoy <3

Jack's POV:

„You followed me and then two days later you followed me“ I say heading to Mark who's sitting right next to me on stage.  
„Alright“ Felix responds with a smile on his face.  
„And then you got jealous“ I rag Mark with an ambiguous smile.  
„Did I get jealous??“ Mark asks me and the crowd , especially the fan-girls, goes crazy.  
„Have you followed him?! I found him first! He's mine!“ the red-haired guy says to Felix.

 

{He's mine....  
Did he really just said this?}  
Everything starts to blur around me.  
I never thought that Mark, the person I always have admired, would say this.  
My heart begins to beat faster and I'm totally at the edge of fainting, as a hand grabs my shoulder.  
Mark stares at me with a really anxious look.  
{I must have looked shocked, I think. Oh man, hopefully Mark didn't guess why.}  
I nod as Felix says that today's show is over, so everyone on stage starts to say goodbye  
and the crowd is going insane.  
I walk in front of Mark, more weaving than walking, because I'm still in a daze of what I had heard  
earlier.  
Could he have meant it that way?  
Or am I only misinterpreting it?  
Mark grabs me as I'm on the brink of hitting the door in front of me.  
„Dude, is everything alright? You seem absent. Should I get you some water?“ he asks me, still holding me tight in his arms.  
„No Buddy, everything's fine. I just...Um...I'm just a little tired. It's all new for me you know?“ I stumble.  
„You already did so much for me, I mean, you are the reason why I'm here...The reason why everything is how it is. You mean so much to me“, I sputter without even thinking about it.  
{Hold on, did I just said that?!! Oh come on Jack, think before speaking!}  
I immediately look down to the floor because I'm aware of how Mark would react to what I said.  
It could have made everything strange between us with this, but I haven't got much time to think about..  
„Oh Jackaboy, you're so handsome! I love you too man!“ Mark replies with a friendly smile, pushing me through the door in front of us.  
After a while in the backstage area, we all agreed to go eat something together, so Felix, Ken, Mark and me walk through the streets of Boston, trying to find some place to have dinner.  
After dinner, all of us are leaving the restaurant and wandering the dark streets, only lighted up by some street lamps.  
My dream has come true, I am here with the most famous youtuber on earth, especially the youtuber, I've always dreamed of meeting some day.  
Felix and Ken are in front of Mark and me, laughing out loud about each other, when Mark turns towards me as if he wants to say something.  
But he doesn't, he only stares at me with a big smile on his face, which makes me really nervous.  
„What's going on Mark, why do you look at me like this? Oh god, don't tell me I have some tomato sauce on my face. I knew it, I should have ordered some fries“ I scream out, trying to hide my uncertainty.  
„No Jack, everything is fine. You look gorgeous like always. I only thought about what you had said two hours ago. I am really flattered that you think I am the reason you can live a life like this.“ he says with blushed cheeks, staring into my eyes, „But you are the reason why you're here. You did those amazing work, it was only a pleasure for me and Felix to help you growing bigger.“  
Mark's POV:

{Jack is so handsome, I think he doesn't really know how great he is. All of his success, he owes to  
himself. Felix and me just helped him to grow bigger on youtube and show the world how funny  
his videos are, that's it.}  
As me and Jack wave Felix and Ken goodbye, we realize that we are heading the same way.  
„Don't tell me you're in the same hotel. That would be awesome!“ I ask excitedly.  
„ Oh man, I am really bad with remebering names, you know... Uhm... I think it's called..Uh.. Boston Harbor... yeah, Boston Harbor Hotel.“ Jack says looking at me „It looked awesome when I was there this morning. I can see the harbor right out of my bedroom!“  
„ Oh my god, Jack, we're in the same one! That's awesome!! You know what that means? SEXY TIME!!!“ I laugh at him.  
Jack grows pale right after I said Sexy Time so I lean towards him and tell him that it only was a joke.  
He starts to laugh and replies „ I..I know Mark, god dammit. I'm not a fucking faggot like you!“  
{Oh man, this one hurts, but how does he know?? I never have told anyone I'm bisexual…  
Maybe it was only a bad joke and he doesn't even know anything. I hope so.}  
Jack punches me on my shoulder and we walk straight to our hotel.  
The remaining way back I don't say anything, Jack's words rumble around in my head, but I think Jack is okay with only walking and keeping quiet.  
We walk into the hotel, heading to the elevator. Of course it's full with people, so Jack and I have to press our bodies together for that moment.  
{It feels awkward to be that near to him, but we have to, I mean, there is now big space in here. He's my best friend, so it has to be awkward.}  
„Oh dude, that feels good, rub your body against mine“ Jack says jokingly.  
I laugh at his utterance as we both realize that everyone had heard it too and now look at us strangely, which only makes us laugh more.  
After a while, there is only me and Jack in the elevator heading to the sixth floor.  
„ So, here we are, floor number six, time to leave this place of sexual tension“ I say grinning, looking at the green-haired.  
We walk down the floor when I finally found my room door. Room 671.  
„Which number do you have Jackaboy? So I can meet you for breakfast tomorrow morning.“ I asked him, also yawning.  
„I think you haven't a long way, Markimoo, I'm right beside you!“, Jack replies with a smile and shows me his room key.  
Room 672.  
I shake my head while giggling, „This is so weird man, Boston is so big and we managed to check into the same hotel, having hotel rooms right next to each other!.  
„This has to be fate, Dude. Real friendship! Forever and always!“ the Irishman responds while walking into his room, waving goodbye and closing the door.  
I grab my package and carry it next to my bed. I'm too tired to unpack it, so I walk into the bathroom and put on my pyjama pants. I look into the mirror and almost shocked myself to death when I see the big dark circles under my eyes.  
{Oh god, I look like a monster. And Jack didn't even run away, that has to be real friendship.  
Friendship... Whatever? I really have to go to bed, my brain starts to think about crazy stuff..  
unrealistic stuff.“}  
So I lay down in my king size bed and close my eyes.  
Only a few moments later I drift away in my own dreamland.

 

Time seems to fly when you sleep, especially when you dream.  
Nice Dreams. Overwhelming dreams.  
I start up from my sleep and look at my phone. Nothing new, only some notifications on youtube, twitter, tumblr, and so on and so on.  
I get up, slurping into my bathroom.  
{Oh boy, I look better than yesterday night, thank god! So, for today, there is no planned show, that  
means I can do whatever I want!}  
I smile at myself in the mirror while getting myself done.  
I slip into my clothes, black jeans and the blue hoodie I got from Jack as a present for my birthday.  
{Wait a minute, why do I smell the scent of Jack in here?!}  
I walk out of my bathroom, yelling „Jack?!Are you in here?!“  
Of course there is no reply to my question, how should he even come in here...  
I facepalm myself as I realize that it is the hoodie smelling like Jack.  
We were squashed against each other in the elevator yesterday, that must be it!  
I walk into the bathroom again to mousse my hair, I look awful without some hair mousse and hair spray, I don't want anybody to see this.  
9.52 am.  
I close and lock the door and then knock on the door right beside mine.  
Room 672.  
After a few seconds, Jack opens the door, only in his pants. His torso is fully naked and I can catch myself wandering over his upper body with my eyes.  
„I hope you like what you see“, Jack smirks at me and turns around walking to his bed.  
I definitely blush , because I can feel the heat capture my cheeks.  
I try to stay calm and bluff it out some way.  
„Dude, you can't just open your door undressed, it's obvious that I stare at you. You shocked me!!“ I say while hiding my uncertainty.  
„Whatever.“, Jack replies while covering him up with a green hoodie.  
{What the fuck is wrong with me...He's my best friend. I don't even have the right to look at him  
like that! Come on Mark, get yourself together!!!}  
Jack heads to me, asking me for leaving before breakfast will be over.  
I nod and leave the room after him, trying to get things clear in my head.  
Fortunately, there are no other hotel guests in the elevator as we enter, so it doesn't come  
to that awkward situation again,his body rubbing onto mine. This would have killed me...  
We walk through the door of the breakfast room as Jack's phone starts ringing.  
Jack answers his phone and excuses himself for some minutes so I decide to get my breakfast alone.  
Eggs,Bacon,newly laid buns, everything I could image is there, ready to eat. I take some and search a table for two, start eating as I sit down and wait for Jack.  
10 minutes later, Jack finally heads to me with a big plate of breakfast in his hands, sitting down.  
„Everything alright Jack? Who was it?“, I ask him nosy.  
„Oh, it was some girl from my hometown, I used to date years ago. She wants to know if I was interested in meeting again...“,Jack replies with a confused look.  
„What?!! Give me her number, I will tell her that you're mine, like I told everyone yesterday at stage!“, I say more serious than I thought I would.  
I try to safe this curious situation by laughing and fortunately Jack laughs with me.  
{Dammit Mark, what are you doing??? Jack also could have understood it the wrong way! Or was  
it meant like that?? Oh man, I don't know whats going on... I should shut my mouth for the rest of  
the day before I say something more stupid like this..}  
So this is what I do, shut my mouth and shovel my breakfast into it to stuff it, otherwise I will keep talking insane shit.  
Jack starts to eat and talks about his plans for his coming videos, so the only thing I have to do is listen and nod, which I am really glad about.

Jack's POV:

{Why does Mark act this strange after I told him who was on the phone? And also, why did he  
look at me that intensively this morning? This guy drives me crazy! Maybe he also  
has some feelings for me...Oh Jack get yourself together and don't imagine those stupid things!  
There's nobody more straight than Mark, so I should stop to dream about things that would never  
come true}  
„..So and that's why I want to take you to my room and fuck the hell out of you“, I say to check if Mark is still listening to me, because I've got the feeling that he was away for at least 5 minutes.  
„What?! Jack....what are you talking about?!?!“, the red-haired man asks me with his eyes wide opened.  
I start laughing and reply „Dude, if you're not interested in what I am telling you, then just say it.  
It's okay.“  
Mark exhales and his eyes shrink to their normal size, „Man! Stop shocking me like that! I thought you were for serious!“, he says and laughs.  
After some minutes of shock and embarrassing silence between us, we put our plates away and walk out of the hotel to meet Felix and Ken.  
We are halfway there as Mark's phone rings.  
„Mark here.... Yeah...Yeah..Okay alright, see ya!“, he answers to the person on the other side of his phone, then he turns to me and says „This was Felix, he excuses him and Ken, but they cannot meet up with us. It seems like they couldn't stomach the food they ate yesterday.. So that means, we have some free time now. What would you want to do Jack?“  
I nod and say „Well, how about making a video together, it has been month since our last one. Let's head to our hotel again and do this?“  
He smiles and agrees, so we turn around and walk the way back we came from.  
After half an hour we finally enter the entrance hall as Mark suggests to have lunch, because it is already 13.45 pm and lunch ends at 14.30 pm, so I agree and we grab some food.  
I grab some pork lain and fries while Mark take some of the salad with chicken breast filet.  
{Healthy food as always, maybe that is why he has those gorgeous and manly muscles...}  
„What should our video be about Jack? Do you have something particular on your mind?“, Mark asks me while shoveling his salad into his mouth.  
„Yeah buddy, how about truth or dare? I could tweet out on twitter that our fans can send us some challenges“, I respond to Mark.  
Immediately I can tell that Mark loves my proposal, because everytime he likes something, his big, beautiful eyes starts to sparkle.  
Mark nods and we stand up, heading to the elevator.  
We cannot make it far, there is a group of fans outside of our hotel and we could not leave without taking pictures and talk to every single one of them, so we walk outside and for 3 and a half hours we are busy with signing autographs and saying hi to everyone.

 

17.30 pm.  
As we finally enter the entrance hall again, we both are yawning.  
„I wasn't expecting this! It has been 3 ½ hours since we left! Do you still want to film with me or should we delay it on tomorrow?“, I ask Mark while looking at him.  
„No, no, Jackaboy, it's alright, we still can do it tonight, let me just dress up and then we can still do it!“, Mark glances at me and passes by.  
As we arrive at Mark's door, I wave goodbye.  
„Oh, you can come in if you want, it won't take long! Have a seat on my bed. I'll be right back!“ Mark says while pulling me into his hotel room.  
I sit down on his bed, waiting for him to come back, as I see him coming out of the bathroom with nothing on but his ripped body.  
I gulp as I can see his clearly defined muscles, moving with every move he makes.  
{Oh no, this is not good. I'm here in his room, he's nearly naked and I'm in love with him...  
What should I do?!}  
The first thing that comes to my mind is heading to his bathroom and staying there as long as he takes to dress up, but that would be awkward I think.  
So I stay on his bed, peeping on him covering himself.  
„Sorry, I hope it doesn't bother you seeing me like this! I actually forgot that you are in here too.“, Mark laughs and putting a t-shirt on.  
„Come on, I can handle it!“, I laugh as well, „So lets get started. Let me arrange the camera and then we can begin.“  
After finishing all the preparations, we start the recording.  
„Top of the morning to ya laddies, my name is Jacksepticeye and welcome to a new video with me and....“  
„MARKIPLIIIIIIER“, Mark interrupts me.  
„So, I've tweeted to you guys to send me some challenges for our Truth or Dare today, so we'll see what you've posted back..“, I say.  
„I choose truth Jack! I'm such a pussy!!“, Mark laughs while waiting for his questions.  
„Okaay, have you ever kissed a boy, Markimoo?“, I ask him, also very nosy what he will answer.  
„Oh come on, such a private question right at the start?!, Mark laughs, „Yeah I have, acually. I kissed a guy once, not that big deal.“  
He tries to stay cool, but I am definitely shocked by his answer.  
{He kissed a guy, oh my fucking god.... That means, he likes guys too? Stop, hold on Jack, it  
doesn't have to mean this at all, it also could have been some sort of test.}  
„Uuuuuuuuuh, shipping time guys! I think the fans are going to freak out, Markimoo!“ I laugh and hand my phone to Mark, inviting him to ask me a question.  
„Have you ever had a crush on someone out of reach, Jack?!“  
{This cannot be the question...Really??? Oh god....}  
„Yeah I have....I had..I mean I had...“, I save myself.  
„So, who is it, Baby muffin?“, he smirks at me with his wonderful and sexy smile, „Tell us who was the lucky one!“  
„That was not the question Mark!“, I respond and head to the next question.  
After an hour of recording, we stop it and get out of bed.  
„Soooooo, successful record I think, I should go now, it's already 20.15 pm, you also want some private time for sure“, I wink at him and walk towards the door.  
„Okay Jack, you could also stay here and we watch a movie or something but if you want to leave it's okay though.“, he smiles at me and follows me to his door, „But I will definitely help you edit this video tomorrow!“  
„Alright, guess seeing you tomorrow then“, I respond and turn to the right.  
„Jack, before I forget, would you tell me about that mysterious woman you talked about earlier?! I'm too nosy, you know“, he smiles at me and his white teeth almost kicked me down to the floor.  
{If it only was a woman I had talked about... Was this the time to tell him about my feelings? This  
could change everything. Now or never...}  
I step towards him, take his beautiful face between my hands, look deeply in his beautiful brown eyes and say „I talked about you“, as I lean forward, pressing my lips against his.  
His lips feels so soft, I think I'm dreaming.  
{Is this really happening right now? Oh my god, it is much better than I had ever imagined}  
I open up my eyes, remove my lips from his and look at him, quite nervous what he's going to do or say.  
„What the fuck was that man?! Please explain this! I'm really, really confused now...“, Mark says while stepping back two feet.  
{Oh my god no, I screwed up, I had ruined everything, everything that I had... He was everything  
to me and now I am loosing him. Why couldn't I resist my feelings and just left.}  
„I..I have to go Mark. I'm so sorry. Please forgive me“, I murmur.  
He can definitely feel the tears filling my eyes as I turn my back on him and try to find my key to my room as fast as I can.  
After 10 seconds, which felt like years, I find them and dash into my room, shut my door behind me.  
I lower myself behind the door, trying to hold back my tears, without any success.  
I had lost everything, I lost my best friend, my self-confidence and everything I loved.  
I lost Mark.

 

Mark's POV:

I stand there, unable to move. What did just happen.  
{He kissed me, he really kissed me.. But what does that mean? Jack isn't in love with me, is he?  
This cannot be, he's my best friend for almost a year. I would have recognized if something was  
going on! I would have! I will talk to him tomorrow, he has to explain this.}  
I turn around and shut the door behind me.  
I walk into my bathroom, look at myself in the mirror, while touching my lower lip.  
It is colored with a pink blush, caused by the fact that Jack pressed his lips against them just minutes ago.  
I catch myself smiling while thinking about the kiss, which confuses me.  
{I should go to bed, my brain can't barely think anymore}  
I leave the bathroom, take of my shirt and crawl away in my bed, hoping I can catch some sleep.  
3.43 am.  
I haven't slept a minute since I went to bed, I'm still thinking about what happened tonight, what Jack might be doing right now, if he's okay.  
{Should I get up and look after him? He rushed off so fast, maybe he needs me right now. I know  
its late, but he's still my best friend. I have to fulfill my duty at being his best friend, also after this.  
Just now, it's my duty to look after him.}  
I cover my torso with a shirt and get out of my room.  
I don't know if Jack is already asleep, but I have to try to speak to him.  
I knock onto his door as I hear something from inside Jacks room.  
„Jack? Are you still awake? I need to talk to you! Please open up, I'm not leaving until you unlock that door!“, I whisper, but still loud enough he can hear it.  
Footsteps from inside the room come near the door and the door unlocks.  
I grab the handle and push it, the door opens up.  
I can't see anything, the room isn't lit up, so I say into the dark „Jack? Are you there? Please answer me. We need to talk“  
I see someone walking towards me, it is definitely Jack, I know him by his green hair, which are also shining in the dark.  
I hear a light sniff as Jack replies „What do you want Mark? I apologized earlier. I didn't want to make you stay awake because of me. Go and get some sleep, I'm not worth it“.  
Jack walks off of me and I can feel he's in pain, he's crying.  
„Jack I'm going to turn on the lights if it's okay for you. I want to see you.“, I say calm and pull the light switch up.  
Jack sits on his bed, his face buried in his knees, not looking at me, and he is definitely crying.  
I walk towards his bed, sitting down right next to him, not sure what to do.  
{Should I take him into my arms or should I just sit here, showing him that I'm still here for him?}  
I decide that the second opinion is the better way to act, so I just sit beside him and look at him.  
„Why did you come back? I screwed up Mark, I lost you“, Jack mumbles into his chest.  
„You haven't lost me Jackaboy! What do you think I'm going to do? Ignoring you? I'm only confused and I just want an answer and an explanation of what happened.“, I say while pulling my arm around him. He looks up and stares into my eyes with tears running down his cheeks.  
„You're not leaving me? After all that happened?“ he asks crying.  
„I would never leave you Jack“, I respond, taking him into my arms again.  
Jack looks at me, still with tears in his eyes and says „I thought I had lost you Mark. You're everything for me. I cannot imagine living without you anymore.“  
I look down, not knowing what to answer to it, „How long, Jack?“, I say after a few seconds while releasing him out of my embrace.  
„For almost half a year... I never thought I would fall in love with you.. I mean..Uh.. I knew that I was more into guys than girls, but... you were my best friend, it was unintentionally, I swear!“ he says while pressing his lips into a thin line.  
„Almost half a year?! Jackaboy, why have you never told me? It would have made everything easier for you. It must have been painful for you, I can imagine.. But....“, I interrupt myself.  
Jack glances at me, „But what? Tell me Mark....“  
{I cannot do this right now.. If I'm going to say this right now, I will break his heart.. But, I want to  
be honest...}  
„I'm.. I'm not in love with you Jack...“, I murmur while staring at the ground, „maybe it's better for you to stay out of my way for now, I don't want to hurt you anymore.“  
Jack turns pale after he heard what I said. He looks down to the floor as well, trying to hide his tears.  
„Then, I think it's better for me as well that you're leaving now, Mark...“ he shouts at me while pushing me through his room door.  
„Get out of my sight Mark! You said that you will never leave me, but now you want to leave me alone! That's not fair, dude!“, he screams and wipes away his tears.  
„But Jack...“, I start my sentence as Jack slams his room door and ditches me.  
I'm shocked about what is happening right now, but I decide to leave him alone until he can look me in the eye again.  
I enter my room, lay down in my bed and fall asleep.

 

The next morning, I wake up, getting myself ready and leave my room.  
I shut the door behind me, checking my phone at the same time as I collide with somebody.  
I look up and see that it is Jack.  
He looks at me and I can see that his eyes start to fill with tears again.  
I want to say something, but I'm not fast enough, because right at the moment Jack realizes that it 's me, he rushes past without even looking .  
{I think that's it, I have ruined it! I should have been more sensitive and understanding last night..}  
For the next few hours, it's as if the earth had swallowed him up, until I see him at pax at the evening.  
At stage, he doesn't take his place right beside me as usual, he sits down next to Felix who sits right next to me.  
It is awkward to see him in this state, he tries to hide his pain for his fans, but I know him better, he is really hurt.  
{Should I talk to him after? But it was me, who had suggested to not see each other for the next  
days..}  
After the show, I haven't got any time to meet him, because he is again swallowed by earth.  
{I think he really tries to get out of my way, but this hurts him more than seeing me..}  
I walk out of the event location and flag down a taxi.  
I sit down in the back while telling the driver the name of my hotel.  
{Mark, you should know what you want... On one side, you want him to get out of your  
sight until he can talk to you as a friend again, on the other side, you want to be there for him...  
He means so much to me...Maybe too much...  
Maybe... all those dreams about him and me.... No, this cannot be...}  
I also remember my pang of jealousy after Jack told me about this girl he used to date...and the fact that I liked the way our bodies were pressed together in the elevator two days ago..  
{Mark, you're in love...with JACK.... Oh hell no.. what should I do... I'm not in love, or am I?  
I think the best way to find it out is find him and try something, I should have tried earlier..  
Let's go Mark.. You got this.}  
After arriving at the hotel, I pay the driver and head to Jacks room while my heart is beating faster every step I go further to meet him.

 

Jack's POV:

{It was best to rush out of the event location after the show.. This was the only solution to not get in  
touch with Mark...It's so hard to ignore him, not talking to him. It hurts so much. I shouldn't have  
kissed him.. I ruined everything}  
I take out my shirt as it knocks on the door. I wonder who it is going to be, so I walk to the door and open it.  
I am going to go insane as I realize that Mark is standing right in front of me.  
„What do you want, god dammit?! Leave me alone Mark! You only make it harder for me to forget you“, I shout at him and try to smash the door.  
Without any success, Mark puts his foot right between my door and the doorframe.  
He opens up my door and whispers „Shut up you doof. I should have done this earlier!“.  
With this words, he leans forward and presses his lips against mine.  
I close my eyes, not understanding what is going on right now.  
I open up my eyes again, stare into his and stutter „Mark, what are you doi...“  
Mark interrupts me by pushing me into my room, shutting the door behind us.  
{Am I dreaming? Jack, wake up, you only hurt yourself with those fantasies!}  
„I, I think I have some feelings for you too, man.. I don't know, but I want to know.“, he says while pushing me onto my bed, staring right into my eyes.  
{What is going on here? Mark must have completely lost his mind! Even if it feels so right, it feels  
so wrong as well..}  
„Mark, stop it! I don't want to be some part of an experiment.. This would hurt me more than you telling me you have no feelings for me.“, I say while holding back my lustful gasps, caused by Marks sensual touches all over my upper body.  
„But experiments are made for exploring. And I want to explore.. My deepest feelings..And you.“,  
he says with his low voice, looking me straight into my sparkling eyes.  
I can't hold back my moan anymore as he starts to kiss me, full of lust, pressing his lips against mine, his tongue tries to find a way into my mouth.  
The red-haired pull out his shirt, laying down his upper body onto mine, I can feel that his pants are too strait because of his boner pushing from the inside of his jeans.  
Mark grabs my hair and makes me facing him „This feels so good Jack, but also so awkward.. I mean you're my best friend, I never thought about something like this to happen.“  
„Shut up you doof and kiss me!“ I tell him to do and my hand wander up and down his chest and belly.  
I can feel every single muscle all over his upper body, as he looks at me in a way he never did before, his eyes are on fire, full of excitement, he bites his lip, eyes my body and then changes over to a lustful and wet kiss.  
„Oh Mark..“ I moan right into his mouth as Marks lips wander to my neck, leaving little kisses there.  
First really tender kisses, turning into sucking marks into my thin skin.  
I can feel his heart beat fast and even faster when he hears me moan, he's enjoying it!  
„Jack, this is too good, fucking hell“, Mark moans, gasping for air as I reach out for his cock.  
My fingers slide carefully over his tip, already feeling some of Marks pre-cum on it.  
Mark grabs my hair, making me facing him again and says „ Did I asked you to do that?! It's my exploration, so don't you dare make me come before I even started!“.  
My eyes wide as I hear Mark talking to me like that, my body shiver under his voice.  
{How could he know that I love to be dominated? Fucking god, he's perfect!}  
Mark pushes my back down onto the mattress and looks at me with a big grin.  
„Don't move!“, he commands, „One move and I'll stop!“  
I am afraid to move, because I want him not to stop, not after he makes me this fucking horny.  
Mark stands up, walks two feed away from my bed and turns around, facing me with his big brown eyes, which are wandering down to my baggy pants.  
„Wanna see a show?“, he asks with a big smile on his face, wiggling with his eyebrows.  
I can not help but nod, looking at him, wondering how perfect one man can be.  
Mark starts to touches himself, wandering up and down his upper body, until he reaches his button on his jeans.  
He slowly opens it, wiggling his hips while pulling them down.  
{Is he fucking stripping?! For me? How can this ever get better?!!}  
I laugh, but not the way I always laugh, more an laugh of excitability.  
„Go Mark, Go Mark!“, I shout, still giggling, wanting to help him undress.  
I want to get up as I remember the words Mark said earlier.  
Don't move.  
After pulling his pants down he turns around, only covered with his boxer shorts, which are really to tight now.  
He wiggles with his ass as he suddenly takes his shorts and pulls them down to the ground.  
I am paralyzed, he is beautiful.  
{Oh I want him, right now, and nothing can stop me now. Even the thought of him leaving me after  
this, saying that it only was an experiment and that he still doesn't love me...}  
„Mark, please, I want you! I need you inside me, so badly, please.“, I stutter out while catching me looking at his big cock.  
Mark smiles at me, a smile full of lust, lays down onto me again and strokes my heated cheeks.  
I can barely breath as I feel his tip on my belly, throbbing very fast.  
„Beg me!“ he whispers into my ear and grabs my hair, pulling me up roughly, „I want you to beg for more, Jack! I'm your daddy, so beg for it!“  
I cannot believe hear him say something like this, my eyes widen, I bite my lip and glance at him.  
{It only makes it harder to resist him, to forget about him, when he talks like this! He's such a kind  
guy, but in bed... oh my fuckin' god!}  
„Please Mark, please let me take your big cock, I want it so bad, please!“, I stutter, barely forming correct sentences at this point.  
Mark bites his lip, facing me and then gives me a kiss, his tongue slips into my mouth, explore every part of it.  
„How hard do you want me to fuck you, Jackaboy?“ Mark whispers, while his eyes fixating on my hard cock, pounding from inside my pants.  
I cannot help but pulling him closer, touching his muscles and moan „Daddy...I..please fuck me into  
oblivion! I want you so bad, Daddy!“  
{I called him daddy, I never thought he will get me to say this and be this...submissive. But I never  
expected this whole thing to happen either, so...}  
Mark sighs with pleasure, his hands pulling down my pants.  
Once down, he stares at my cock, which points straight at him.  
He starts to kiss a path way down on my chest, lower to my belly, arriving at my hips.  
My body shiver under his soft lips, my eyes are closed and I can barely hold back the moans, coming out of my mouth.  
Mark looks up at me, his head is right over my pounding dick, which is only a few inches away from his swollen lip.  
“Close your eyes, Jack”, he begs me, “I want you to enjoy every little touch.”  
With these words I shut my eyes and lean back on my pillow, excited about what comes next.  
I gasp as Mark puts my cock into his mouth, his tongue licking over my tip.  
“Oh holy shit!”, I half scream, half moan, “Right there Mark. Don't stop please!”  
Mark starts sucking harder, stroking my dick with his big hands up and down, making me pant for air.  
“Oh Mark, Maaark”, I scream, trying to be as quiet as I can be, because I only want him to hear me.  
My whole body starts to shake, moans escape my mouth and I dig my nails into Marks back, which makes him utter full of lust.  
“You're so beautiful when you look like this Jack. Screaming my name... You're driving me crazy”,  
Mark glances at me.  
His cheeks are red and his hair is all sweaty, but I like seeing him that way.  
{This should never end, oh please god, give me this one thing in life that I need. Him.}  
He smiles at me right before his head is going down again, his tongue is exploring my dick.  
This time, he takes him all inside, my tip is tickling his throat, so that it gets really tight.  
Mark licks up and down my shaft and strokes him with fast moves, as my body lift from the mattress with a load moan.  
“Im..Im gonna cum Mark, don't stop!”, I hardly moan while pushing my dripping length only further into his mouth.  
The red-haired roughly pushes me back onto the bed, scratching down my chest.  
My breath grows rapid,strings of groans escape my mouth as I feel Mark become more tight around my cock, sucking him up, until I reach my peak.  
My head snap back with a load and hoarse moan, “Oh fuck Mark, I'm coming!! MARK! OH..MY..FUCKING..GOD, MARK!”  
Mark doesn't let go of my pulsating length, doesn't waste any of my cum.  
He licks down my tip and shaft to save every hot drop of what I shot inside his mouth.  
I can't barely breath as I collapse onto the bed while Mark gets up, looking at me while smiling.  
“I hope you enjoyed!”, Mark bites his lip and leans forward for a kiss.  
I feel our lips clashing together, I can taste myself, but I don't care at all.  
“Do I look like I didn't?”, I whimper, “It was perfect Mark!”  
I can see that sort of sparkle in his eyes, which makes me happy and proud everytime.  
Mark lays down beside me, taking me into his arms, while giving me a kiss on my forehead.  
“I should have done this earlier. It was beautiful Jack...”, Mark whispers into my ears, only pulling me closer to his chest.  
{I could lie here forever, in Marks arms..that's what I've always dreamed of. Please let this never  
end.}  
“It was.. I..I love you Mark.. I don't want to put pressure on you, but I only want you to know that.”,  
I say while looking into his big brown eyes.  
“I know Jack, I know. Let's sleep, you look exhausted. I'm staying here, if you don't mind. I don't wanna go..”, Mark answers with an big exhale.  
{Oh my god, he wanna stay!! Jack, keep calm, that doesn't mean anything...}  
“Sure. There's enough space for two hot guys in my bed”, I laugh while trying to hold my enthusiasm back.  
Mark sighs, closing his eyes and holding me with an tight embrace.  
I can feel him fade away in his dreamland as his muscles come loose.  
It doesn't take me long either drifting away into sleep while he holds me like this.  
This was better than every forthcoming dream could ever be.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Helloooow again!  
> Sorry for not uploading anything until now.  
> I'm a bit stressed out by tests and exams coming up next week.  
> (I 'm definitely going to fail all of them, I'm so unmotivated for learning :/)  
> Please excuse this very short part of the second chapter, after all's over I will definitely write some more.  
> I promise.  
> Nevertheless, please enjoy and let me know what you think about it!  
> Kudos and Comments are very welcomed.
> 
> Luv ^_^
> 
> SeptiplierAway *__*

Jack's POV:

Little rays of sunlight shaft through the shutter, shining straight into my face.  
I cannot barely open my eyes, but I try.  
It is too bright, so I decide to close my eyes, starting over again by open them inch by inch.  
After some seconds, my eyes are open, but I have to squeeze them together nevertheless.  
It is quiet in my room, only the birds outside tweet happily.  
{Its quiet..Too quiet..}  
I turn around, expecting Mark to lie next to me, still sleeping.  
All I see is the pillow and the sheet, but no Mark.  
I immediately panick as I see the empty bed, my heart starts to beat faster and I think I will pass out.  
“Mark? Where are you?”, I call, getting out of my bed.  
I wait a few seconds but there is no answer.  
I walk into the bathroom, but Mark isn't there either.  
I can feel my legs and knees weaken after I recognize that Mark isn't here anymore.  
My eyes fill up with tears, I collapse on the floor, pulling my knees up to my head.  
I sob, looking around the empty room.  
{Why??? Why me! He left me, I knew it... He's out of my league! Why were you so dumb Jack?!  
You really thought he will fall in love with you, you dumb and stupid guy? Shame on you!!}  
I hit myself, try to get me to stop crying like a little baby.  
He was gone.

I recognize that it's the day Pax ends and persuade myself that Mark is only gone because he had to catch his flight back home or maybe he had do fly earlier.  
I stand up, trying to hold back my tears from rolling down my cheeks again.  
I take out my phone and look through my contacts.  
Felix, Ken, Wade, Bob, Tyler, Ethan... there he is..  
Mark.  
My hands begin to shake as I hit his phone number.  
I wait a few seconds, then there it is, his voice..  
“Hey, here's Mark...”  
“Mark, where the fuck are....”, I shout into my phone as the familiar voice keeps on talking.  
“As it seems, I don't have the time to accept your call, but I will call you back soon as I can, buh bye!”  
{Why was this so obvious? Damn, Mark, why did you leave me like this?!}  
I throw my phone on my bed with anger and also disappointment and walk into the bathroom to get me dressed up.  
I brush my teeth for a while when I can hear a sound I definitely remember out of a thousand.  
“My phone!!”, I scream, spitting out some bubbles of my toothpaste.  
I run into my bedroom and accept the call immediately.  
“Hello??”, I ask excitedly, waiting for the other person to respond.  
“Hey Jack, here's Felix. I wanted to ask you if you're free today to meet up again before you have to fly home.”, he asks me.  
Felix can hear my disappointment as I heavily breath out.  
“Did you expect someone else to call?”, Felix presses me, I can imagine him perking his eyebrow up.  
“I.. yeah... I thought it was Mark...”, I stutter out.  
“Mark? Did something happen between you? Did you two argue?”, the Swede asks me with importunity.  
I sob and feel tears filling up my eyes again, as Felix says “I'll be there in 15 minutes, don't move!”, and ends the call.  
{He definitely noticed me crying.. I have to learn how the get control over my feelings. Damn it, Jack!}

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I added a few lines and I hope you like it!  
> After the 22th of February I'm free again to write some more.  
> Please forgive me not having that much time right now :(  
> <3


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marks POV:  
> My phone's going crazy with calls and messages, I didn't even want to look at them.  
> I walk through the crowd of people that whirr around me in every imaginable direction.  
> I stop as my phone starts ringing again, but I'm not sure if to accept the call or decline it.  
> After some seconds of contemplating I grab my phone and pull it out of my pocket and look at the screen.  
> Felix Kjellberg...  
> I take a big breath and put my phone back into my jacket pocket.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here I am back again!  
> I hope you're not angry about me bein' abscent for so long.  
> I uploaded this new part in a new chapter because I wanted you to see that there's something new.  
> After some time I will edit it and put it into the second chapter, so this is only temporary.  
> I hope you like it.  
> I put so much effort in it so I hope you all enjoy reading it!
> 
> Let me know what you think about in the comments and please leave kudos if you like what I did there!  
> Much love!

Marks POV:  
My phone's going crazy with calls and messages, I didn't even want to look at them.  
I walk through the crowd of people that whirr around me in every imaginable direction.  
I stop as my phone starts ringing again, but I'm not sure if to accept the call or decline it.  
After some seconds of contemplating I grab my phone and pull it out of my pocket and look at the screen.  
Felix Kjellberg...  
I take a big breath and put my phone back into my jacket pocket.  
After it stops ringing, I pull it out again, because I'm too nosy who called earlier.  
The first one was from Jack, but no message on my voice mail, the second and third one are from Felix, but why did he call me?  
Does he know something?  
I shake my head and brush a strand of my red hair out of my face.  
I put my phone back and look around me, not knowing what to do.  
I hide my eyes behind my shaking hands, trying to cover the tears which starts to roll down my reddened cheeks.  
I inhale the stagnant air and open up my eyes again.  
I don't know if I ever will be like before, before it happened, this happened.  
I put my hands in my pocket and wander around without even knowing where to go.

Jacks POV:

I sit on my bed, not knowing what to do, if to open up the door when Felix arrives or not to open it.  
I take a breath and try to stop me from crying, but the tears don't want to stop running down my cheeks.  
I brush them away and wait, wait for Felix to come.  
I stare at my phone, hoping to receive a message from Mark.  
But nothing.  
I am completely lost in my thoughts about Mark as I hear a familiar voice right in front of my door.  
“Jack? Here's Felix. Please open up”, Felix ask me with his swedish accent.  
I exhale and look at my door.  
{Should I open? But what should I say? He doesn't even know about me and Mark, my feelings for  
him.. I cannot even explain this whole story to him without telling the truth..}  
I push myself up out of the bed and walk towards to door with shaky legs.  
Once I stand right before it, my thoughts overwhelm me once again.  
I catch myself hoping that it is Mark waiting outside and that he wants to explain everything to me, saying that he's sorry for leaving me alone.  
I grab the door handle and pull it.  
Right as the door opens I can see Felix looking at me with concern.  
I look back at him, trying to stay strong, trying to keep control over my feelings.  
“Jack. I knocked a thousand times but you didn't answer, I was worried!”, he says.  
He steps into my room and closes the door behind him.  
{No no no, please don't cry again Jack! Fucking hell, stay strong!}  
I can't help myself but cry again, everything starts to become blurred and it is hard to see anything.  
Suddenly I can feel two arms wrapping around me, pulling me tight onto a body.  
Felix pulls me in a tight embrace without even asking about the reason I was crying.  
I hide my face in his shoulder, sobbing and sniffing like a little girl.  
After some minutes just standing there and feeling safe in his arms, he lets me go and takes my wrist.  
He walks towards my bed and sits down, also pulling me down onto the mattress.  
“What the hell happened? Tell me Jack, I wanna help you... But I can't if you don't tell me what's going on”, Felix asks with his soft voice.  
His hand reaches out to brush away a tear.  
I sob and take a deep breath, looking down to the floor.  
I mumble “Me and Mark, I...We... He....”, barely forming a correct sentence.  
“Take it slow, Jack. I am there to listen.. So, start all over at the beginning. Take your time.”, Felix answers me while giving me a friendly smile.  
“Okay....”, I exhale and try it again, “So, I...I don't know where to start if I'm honest... Um... Let me take just a minute please...”, I beg him and he nods.  
I stand up and leave this room, entering the bathroom.  
I look at myself in the mirror while turning on the water.  
{Get yourself together... He will not judge you for anything, the only thing you have to do is to be  
honest and tell him how you feel.}  
I splash some water in my face and then turn it off.  
As I feel ready, I turn around and enter my bedroom.  
I sit down next to Felix and start all over again.  
“Okay, I think I'm ready”, I tell him with my shaky voice.  
He nods and smiles.  
“I...I am in love with him... With Mark...”, I stutter, avoiding his face.  
“And I tried to hide it, to never tell him.. I thought it would ruin everything if I ever told him.. And so I did.” I explain.  
Felix looks at me with his eyes wide opened, “Jack, I did not know! I guessed that you liked him but wasn't really sure at all, I mean, it always looked like you like him that way, the way you looked at him, talked to him or smiled at him, but I never had the courage to ask you”  
I inhale the sharp air in my room while continuing, “ I ruined it.... Everything..”  
“What did you do Jack? It cannot be this bad.”, Felix comforts me.  
“I...I tried so hard to cover my feelings, but that one night....After you and Ken canceled our dinner... We decided to make a video together after such a long time and the topic was “Truth or Dare”... So Mark asked me if I was in love with someone out of reach and I told him I am, so he asked me who it is after this video... I could not hold back my feelings, so I kissed him....”, I tell him.  
Felix only nods, asking me to go on.  
“After he told me to stay out of his sight, because it was better for me, he came to me the day after to tell me he thinks he has some feelings for me too, so we ended up having sex.....”, I say and then look at Felix.  
Felix takes a deep breath and scratches his head, then answers “ Oookay, you two had sex... That's a big thing to digest... But, what's the problem then? Did it not went well? I mean, oh damn, that sounded weird.. I don't want to know every detail of your night together, I only want to know what went that wrong that you're here, looking so devastated.”  
“ It was awesome, he enjoyed it, I enjoyed it, he even stayed here over night. I dreamed about this for almost half a year and it was better than every dream of mine... But he left me... he wasn't there after this night.. I woke up in my bed alone, I called him, I texted him, but he never answered...”, I explain, again with tears in my eyes.  
Felix puts his hand on my shoulder, lightly squeezing, “Damn, that's rough man... I called him too.. Two times...After I heard you crying while we were talking... So I thought I should call him to ask him about what happened, but he never accepted my calls either.”  
I catch myself being worried about Mark, because it's not normal behavior to disappear and not telling anybody where he is about to go.  
“I'm worried Felix... What if something happened?”, I ask him.  
“I think everything's alright.. I know him for some time now, maybe he only needs some time to think about everything?”, Felix answers while looking at me, “Everything will be alright, you'll see.”, he continues and with that sentence, he takes me in a tight embrace.  
I lean into the embrace, hoping that Felix will be right about all what he said before.  
Marks POV:

After some time, I take out my phone again, holding it tight between my fingers.  
I gnash my teeth while looking down at the message Felix sent me 3 hours ago.  
“Where the fuck are you, dude?! I called you a thousand times... Helvete.... Call me back din jävla fitta!”  
I perk my eyebrow while trying to understand all those swedish words.  
I sigh while pushing the “answer” button on my phone screen.  
“Hey Felix, as you know I don't understand any of you swedish swear words, but I guess you're pretty angry? Please tell Jack I'm okay.... Mark”  
I send it to Felix and wait for an answer for minutes.  
After realizing that there will be no answer, I put my phone back into my pocket.  
I cock my head and close my eyes..  
{Only 4 hours...}  
I put on my headphones and start playing a song on my music player.  
~...What's on your mind, if I'd get it right? How I love that no one knows-  
And these secrets all that we've got so far  
The demons in the dark, lie again play pretends like it never ends.  
This way no one has to know  
Even the half smile would have slowed down the time  
If I could call you half mine  
Maybe this is the safest way to go  
We're singing  
Heya heya heya heya  
Heya, heya heya  
This is the safest way to go nobody gets hurt  
We're singing  
Heya heya heya heya  
Heya, heya heya  
You go back to him and then I'll go back to her...~

Skip.

~...Take me high and I'll sing  
Oh you make everything okay.  
We are one and the same  
Oh you take of all the pain away.  
Save me if I became my demons...~

{Oh fuck this shit!}  
I power off my music player, holding back my tears.  
{Why is this so hard? Why?! I have to forget about all of this shit. You have to be strong Mark. You  
have to!}  
The woman next to me looks at me with smiling and asking if everything's alright.  
“Yeah, everything's fine! Only a rough day!”, I answered with the most fake smile I could make.  
I turn away while closing my eyes again, avoiding the tears streaming down.  
I try to think about something else, about home, about my little Chica-Pica awaiting me at home.  
This thought makes me smile, I missed her so much this week.  
{Only three and a half hour. Stay strong!}  
With this thought, I slipped away in dreamland, hoping that everything will be okay when I'm finally at home after all.


	4. Thank you

Oh my god!  
Thank you all so much for 1000 Hits ^.^  
I'm so overwhelmed that so many people read my fanfic so far  
Next chapter will come up in the next days, but not sure when exactly.  
I love writing this fanfic and it makes me happy seeing that you also enjoy it!  
Love you guys 

Selina


	5. I'm so Sorry

Hey guys,  
I'm so sorry that it takes me so long to upload something new.  
There's some kind of writer's block and if I'm honest ...  
I'm unable to cope with things that are going on in my life right now.  
But I promise you, I will upload a new chapter soon.  
I'm going to start a new one today, but I don't know how long it will take me to upload it.  
I hope you're not pissed >.< ..  
I love writing this fanfic so much but this writer's block makes it hard for me :D  
I have so many ideas for this fanfic to go on but it's so f*ckin' hard to get it on paper :P  
So please stay excited and let me know if you will go on reading this fanfic,even if it takes some time.  
Also you can suggest some ideas for some one-shots I will make.

I love you and your support and thank you all so much for understanding !

Love <3


	6. Chapter 6

Jacks POV:

For the last hour, Felix tried to distract me from thinking about Mark by playing some video games and recording it for youtube.  
“That was “I am Bread”! I hope you guys liked it. Please let me know if you want me and Pewds to make some more videos together. Thank you guys so much for watching. If you liked it, PUNCH that likebutton in the face, LIKE A BOSS, and highfives all around, wapish, wapish. But thank you guys and I will see all you dudes, IN THE NEXT VIDEO!!”, I shout at the camera. After I turn the camera out, I look at Felix with a smile.  
“Thank you Felix, you make me laugh even if I'm sad”, I say and take him in my arms.  
Felix smiles back at me as a beeping-sound interrupts him.  
He takes out his phone, reading the message he received seconds ago.  
His smile fades as he takes his phone back into his pocket, then he looks at me, gulping hard.  
I immediately know who sends the message and my eyes starts to fill with tears again.  
With an big exhale, Felix begins to speak “Jack? It..it was Mark... He didn't told me where he is but he said that he wants you to know that he's alright.”.  
I wipe some tears away while staring at the floor, “ So, he's away? I knew it... I.. I have to call him, Felix. I have to. I want to know what's going on!”, I sniffle while taking my phone out.  
He shrugs his shoulders and walks towards my hotel door.  
“I'll go and leave you alone then, if you need me, call me whenever you want Jack. My flight leaves tonight, maybe we could meet up before you leave.”, Felix asks me.  
I only nod at his demand and waves him goodbye.  
The door clicks.  
I'm all alone now.  
My breath is shaky while I call Mark.  
After some seconds his voice mail answers my call, so I hang up.  
I take a deep breath while holding my phone tightly in my hands.  
I shook my head, trying to hold back my emotions once more.  
All at once, my phone starts beeping..  
My eyes shot open and I immediately look at my lightened screen.  
The message is from Mark.  
{Oh my god, he texted me! Please god, let him be okay..}  
I unlock my phone and start reading.  
“Hey Jack. I hope Felix told you I'm okay. I know this whole situation is terrible for you, it's not easy for me either, but please, stop calling me. I'm at home now and I'm okay, I guess. I think it's better for me and also for you if we stop texting or calling for some weeks. Maybe all this will become better. Please forgive me. Mark.”  
And with these words the message ends.  
{I knew I would ruin everything... But maybe he's right. Maybe we need some space to think about   
all that happened. I have to manage it all by myself...}  
I pack up my luggage and text Felix the time to meet up before I will leave.  
A few hours later, after meeting all the guys and say my goodbyes to them, I walk towards the gate of my flight back home,pulling my suitcase behind me.  
I think about all the things that happened in those three days, all the bad but also all the good things.  
Meeting all my friends again.   
Having a great time.  
Kissing Mark.  
Having sex with Mark.  
Meeting all my incredible fans.  
A smile hushes through my face and with this, I enter the plane, heading to my home in Ireland, Dublin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, so here's something new.  
> I know, I know it's not that long but I hope you enjoyed it nevertheless.  
> I am up to writing more but theres still the writer's block and I try to get rid of it.  
> Thank you all for your patience and understanding.
> 
> I love you guys <3


	7. Screw it!

Hey guys! *imitates Wade*

Im so so sorry for not updating this fanfic for so long >.< ..  
I know I upset you guys and this bothers me :(  
But good news!  
After I finished my exam yesterday, I wrote another little chapter.  
Its not that much but I hope you will like it nevertheless..  
Screw me!  
Im a bad writer.  
_____________________  
Soo, enough of my self-pity.  
I will try to upload more regulary.  
Thanks you all for staying with me so for and being understanding for my little problems here and there.  
You guys mean a lot to me, even If I don't know you in person.  
Thank you!  
_______________________

Upload will be tonight.  
See you there <3

Buh-bye <3


	8. Here you go!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promised you guys, so....  
> HERE'S THE NEW CHAPTER! *completely freaks out*  
> I know, I know, its not that long but atfter a long time without anything uploaded, it's still something ;)  
> Enjoy!

Jacks POV:

Months passed.  
I went through a lot.  
Forsakenness. Depression. Agony.  
But those three months showed me who was there for me even in the hardest of times.  
The first month was awful, I felt like nothing could make me feel better ever again, I locked myself up inside, never saw the sun, the birds,  
the people laughing and holding the hand of their beloved ones.  
I was alone.  
Felix called everyday, wanted to know how I feel and if I was okay.  
Lies over lies were told, no matter how shattered I was, I tried to keep smiling, for my fans, my family, my friends.  
For me.  
I tried to convince myself that I was alright, that everything was alright.  
The second month was as twice as horrible as the first one.  
My forsakenness turned into depression.  
I felt superfluous.  
Like nobody needed me anymore.  
And I was sick of it.  
Various suicide attempts followed.  
Nothing worked.  
I tortured myself with Marks new videos on youtube everyday.  
I never heard of him since the incident.  
But I never stopped loving or missing him.  
The last month was better.  
I accepted that Mark doesn't care for me anymore.  
I accepted my faith of being alone.  
Being unloved.  
That's when I decided to hire an editor.  
I didn't want to be alone anymore.  
And I found Robin.

 

Marks POV:

Three month passed.  
I decided that it was better to not call or text Jack since our little “incident”.  
I continued living on like nothing even happened.  
I laughed.  
I lived.  
I cried.  
I vegetated.  
I had my daily routine, waking up, uploading videos, eat, sleep.  
Repeat.  
I knew Jack was watching my videos.  
It hurt.  
It hurt to know that he was watching me smiling, even if I was devastated.  
But he didn't know.  
He didn't know how I felt.  
Incomplete.  
Lonely.  
I missed him, his laugh, his smile, his ocean blue eyes that seemed to look right through you every time he stares at someone.  
And that was the moment I noticed..  
I needed him.  
More than I needed anyone else in my entire life.  
That was when I decided to change something.  
To catch the chance.

 

Jacks POV:

Robin was one of the honest and friendliest person I ever met in my life.  
He made me feel again.  
Feel strong.  
Feel happy.  
He came over everyday after I recorded my videos to go through them and talk with me about everything that was on my mind in this moment.  
He pulled me out of my daily routine by heading out for dinner, meeting his friends and take me with him or only chilling on my couch and watch some movies.  
I could cry on his shoulders, even if he didn't know why.  
First I was afraid of telling him what happened in Boston and why I am who I am now.  
But he made me feel safe.  
So I told him.  
I told him how I became friends with my idol.  
I told him how I fell in love with him a half year later.  
I told him how Mark ripped out my heart that morning.  
I told him how everything started to shatter around me.  
I told him how alone I felt without him.  
And he was there.  
He listened.  
But most importantly...  
He understood.  
He was there.  
Mark wasn't.  
I remember the night I cried.  
He wiped my tears away and took me into an tight embrace.  
He comforts me with his hands that rested on my back.  
I felt safe for the first time after all the world crashed down on my weak body.  
He cupped my face and smiled at me, made me feel better.  
Stronger.  
I smiled after such a long time.  
And then...  
I kissed him.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IM BACK AGAIIIIIN!  
> Sorry guys for letting you wait for so long :(  
> And I hope you won't kill me for this chapter >-< ..  
> It gets sad, sorry :(  
> Nevertheless, enjoy it and let me know what you think in the comments pleeeease!  
> I love you all so much, thank you for your support and love <3

Marks POV:

It was a long flight, almost 11 hours.  
But it is worth it.  
Jack is worth it.  
After taking my place in the plane, I immediately closed my eyes, trying to relax myself.  
I took out my phone and put my headphones in my ears.  
I searched through the list of songs, stopping at a specific one.  
{This song describes all I couldn't say... I have to see him so bad}  
~ They say we are what we are  
But we don't have to be  
I'm bad behavior but I do it in the best way  
I'll be the watcher of the eternal flame  
I'll be the guard dog of all your fever dreams  
Oooooooh  
I am the sand in the bottom half of the hourglass   
Oooooooh  
I'll try to picture me without you but I can't  
'Cause we could be Immortals, Immortals  
Just not for long, for long  
And live with me forever now  
Pull the blackout curtains down  
Just not for long, for long  
We could be Immooooooor... Immortals~

After those words I slipped into dreamland.  
All is better when you're asleep.  
I dreamed of him, holding his hand while walking through LA.  
They looked at us, shaking their heads in disgust.  
They called us “faggots” and laughed at us.  
But we didn't care.  
We stared at each others eyes, forgetting the world around us as our lips met.  
He was all I could think of and the same was I for him.  
I awoke with a start as a woman touched my shoulder.  
I looked at her with shocked eyes.  
“Mister, we landed in Dublin, you can now leave the plane”, she said with her soft voice, giving me a friendly smile.  
I only nod at her, walking out of the plane.  
My heart started to quicken its pace while I drove to Jacks apartment.  
{What if he doesn't want to see me? What if I lost him? Calm down Mark, it had only been three  
months...}  
After an hour drive, I payed the driver, then getting out of the taxi.  
My knees started to get limb each step I took forward.  
After what felt like hours, I finally got to the door to Jacks apartment.  
I sighed hard before pressing the bell.

(welcome to the present now!)

So here I am now, waiting for Jack to open the door.  
My heart almost jumps out of my chest as I hear footsteps behind the door.  
I smile as the door finally opens, seeing Jacks beautiful ocean blue eyes again.  
“Hey there”, I say, scratching my neck nervously.  
Jacks jaw drops, his expression shocked.  
“M-Mark?”, he stutters, looking at me doubtfully.  
I smile at him even more, because I missed his voice, his cute accent so much.  
“Babe?? Who's that?”, a male voice shouts from behind him.  
My heart immediately drops, tears filling my eyes.  
Jack realizes my teary eyes and starts to shake.  
“I-it's only the postman, I will be back in two minutes”, he replies, then stepping out of the door frame, closing the door behind him.  
“W-what are you doing here?”, he frowns, his body still shaking.  
I look down to the floor, hiding my teary eyes from him and try to form a sentence.  
“I-I wanted to see you, talk to you... I missed you”, I stutter while wiping away the tears.  
After I finish my sentence, the door opens and a tall man with blond hair and blue eyes steps out of the apartment.  
“Baby? Who's this? He doesn't look like the postman”, he chuckles, then realizing Jack's shaking body, “Whats wrong?”, he wraps his arms around his waist.  
{How could I be so naïve to think that he will wait for me!?}  
He blond-haired man looks at me with interest, “I'm Robin!”, he holds out his hand for me to shake it.  
“I-it's..”, Jack gulps hard, “M-Mark”, he looks down, avoiding mine or Robin's eyes.  
Robin immediately withdraws his hand, growling, “So you are the asshole that hurt my Jack?!”.  
I shiver under the word “my”, my lips starts to tremble, “I think I'm not needed here anymore...”, I mumble and turn around.  
I can hear a slight sob from Jack, then caressing words from Robin.  
I walk away, trying to not tear up in front of them.  
After I turn around a corner, I let myself slide down the wall, crying out loud.  
“WHY?! I'M SO STUPID!”, I scream from the top of my lungs, tears falling down my reddened cheeks.  
Why was I so stupid?


	10. Request!

Hey my little beans! :3  
So I wanted to talk about something here.  
It's like a request or sth like that :D  
Soooo, I Upload my fanfic on wattpad as well and I just wanted to tell you guys that I would be very thankful if those of you who have wattpad could follow me there!  
I don't know what I do wrong on wattpad but here I have almost 2k views and on wattpad only 140 views :/ .  
So I would love you guys to follow me there and leave some nice comments :3.  
My wattpad-name is MrsSelai, so feel free to look up my account!  
Please also comment under my last chapter there when you came from here!  
Thank you guys so much for almost 2k views, you're amazing!  
I love you all so much.

Love to you!

Selina <3


	11. Chapter 11

Jack's POV:

I stand there, unable to move in any way.  
Robin pulled me closer just as Mark left.  
"It's okay Baby, I got you!", Robin mumbles into my ears, while his thumb caresses my shaking hand.  
I am unable to move or even say something, caused by the fact that Mark was there just minutes ago.  
Paralysis.  
That's what could express my state right now.  
Robin whispers sweet nothings in my ears but I am too dazed to hear it.  
He slowly drags me inside, closing the door behind us.  
"Babe? Did you listen to what I told you?!", Robin asks me while frowning.  
I look at him confused, while playing with my hands nervously.  
"S-sorry.. I...", I stutter.  
Robin shakes his head, "I said we could move to another apartment if you want to, so he wouldn't know where you live anymore", he states.  
I look at him in shock, "N-No! I don't want to leave!", I snap at him, then running into my room and lock the door behind me.  
I smash my head into the pillow, slightly sobbing.  
"Why Mark!? Why did you have to come here right now!? I was fucking happy!", I cried out.  
After what felt like hours, I heard a soft knock on my door.  
"S-sweetie? Can I come in please?!", my lover says worried.  
I think about it a few seconds, then pretend to be asleep.  
{I don't want to see him right now.. I just want to be alone...}  
And with that thought I feel myself slowly falling asleep.

Marks POV:

I was sitting on a wall, trying not to break down, as my phone starts ringing. I look down onto my screen and a photo of Jack pops up.  
I take a deep breath and then answer the phone call.  
"H-hello?", I say with a shaky voice while my whole body starts trembling.  
"M-Mark..", Jack says, he definitely cries, "Why do. you do this?!".  
I gulp as I hear Jack sniffing and sobbing into the phone.  
"I.. You..", I stutter into the phone, not able to form a correct sentence in any way.  
My heart breaks into pieces as I Hear Jack whimpering into the phone, trying to stay strong.  
"I was happy Mark! For once in my life I was happy! And you destroyed it all in only a second!", he yells into the phone, sobbing hard.  
My breath hitches as I can feel tears rolling down my heated cheeks.  
"I..I"m sorry Jack! I...", I sob while I wipe away the tears.  
I get up from the ground and start walking.  
I don't care where to go, I only have to get away from Jack.  
My heart was beating fast while nobody of us talk.  
I sit down on a bench in a near park, waiting for Jack to say something.  
Minutes passes with the sound of Jack whimpering and sobbing into the phone.  
But I can definitely hear something else in the background.  
Somebody is yelling.  
Robin.  
"Jack, what is going on in your house?!", I ask curiously, trying to continue the conversation.  
What I hear next shatters my heart into a million pieces.  
"Slap!"  
Then the call ends.

 

CLIFFHANGEEEEER <3


	12. Chapter 12

Marks POV:

I run as fast as I can.  
It feels like nothing moves, like I doesn't move in any way.  
{Hold on Jack, I'll be there soon.}  
I sob and cry while running.  
Run Slow-Motion.  
I run around without orientation until I see the familiar wall.  
The wall I broke down earlier.  
I turn around the corner and see Jack's house.  
Yelling can be heard.  
I try to run faster but I can't.  
Im running on place.  
After what felt like hours I arrive at the door.  
"You fucking cunt, I knew you still love him!", Robin yells.  
"N-no I swear!", Jack sobs hard.  
Slap.  
"Don't you fucking dare lie to me!!", Robin screams and another Slap can be heard.  
Jacks whimpers let my blood freeze in my veins.  
Even how hard I try to move, my feet doesn't walk foreward.  
Slap.  
"Please stop!" Jack whines.  
Slap.  
"You deserve it!", Robin growls.  
Slap.  
My feet finally move and I run to the door.  
As I arrive, I can hear it again.  
Slap.  
And then everything goes silent.

 

Hey guys!  
Im sorry for the short chapters but I hope you enjoy them nevertheless.  
See you in the next chapter.  
Buh-bye 


	13. No chapter !

Sorry guys that it take me so long to continue! I really in sorry for it but.... I don't know.  
I can't force myself to continue right now.  
I guess it will take some more time for a new chapter but I swear I will be writing soon!

For all those who care, I made myself a tumblr account called darkipliersdemon.  
Would be nice if some of you might follow me there. But only if you want to.  
Thank you and love you all for your support.


	14. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Im basaaaaaack!

Marks POV:

The silence kills me, not knowing what is going on behind those doors.  
I slam my shoulder roughly against the front door as I hear a loud crack.  
The door cracks and I make my way inside.  
I freeze at the sight in front of me.  
Jack is laying on the floor, his nose and lip are bleeding heavily.  
He's not moving at all.  
"You fucker! Get off of him!!", I scream at Robin as I approach them.  
I roughly pushes him away as I kneel down in front of the unconscious Jack.  
"I... i didn't mean to hurt him, I really----", Robin stutters as I interrupt him.  
"Shut up! I don't fucking care! You will pay for this, I swear to god!" I growl as I lift Jack Into my arms.  
I shoot a glare at Robin as I pass him and walk out of the house.  
{He is going to pay for what he did to my Jack}  
I gulp as I quickly dail 911, hoping for them to arrive soon.  
After what feels like an eternity, they finally take Jack out of my arms and Into the ambulance.  
"Can I please come with him? I need to be with him! Please!" I beg as they start to close the back door of the car.  
"Are you related to him?", a woman asks me with a raised brow.  
I gasp at the question, but answer quickly without even thinking about it.  
"I'm his.....boyfriend", I stutter.  
The woman looks at me before she gives a slight nod and beckons me inside.  
I hop in and immediately grab his hand, caressing his palm with my thumb.  
"I will make sure he gets his punishment for it Jack. I promise", I sob.   
After what seems like forever, we arrive at the hospital and they immediately take him away into the ER, as a doctor approach me.  
"Hello Mr.---uh?", he asks.  
"Fischbach, sir. Mark Fischbach", I State.  
He nods and takes out his clipboard.  
"Could you answer a few questions about our patient?" He asks and I give a slight nod.  
"We need name, date of birth, his address and what exactly happened", the doctor explains.  
"His name is Sean William McLoughlin, but all of his friends just call him Jack. He was born on the 7th February 1990... and uh..." I scratch my head, "his address is..... Castle Street 4 in Athlone", I say.  
The doctor nods again and scribbles the information down on his clipboard.  
"Do you know what happen to Mr. McLoughlin?", he looks up at me questioning.  
I sigh heavily and look down while I mumble "His boyfriend beat him up".  
He looks at me frowning, "Didn't you say to one of the medics that you were his boyfriend, Mr.Fischbach?"  
I gulp and realize the mistake I made.  
I look up at him and nod, "I.. I lied sir, I just wanted to be with him here. Being sure that he is okay....".  
The doctor frowns but then nods again.  
He writes something down again and then smiles, "Thank you for all the information, Mr. Fischbach. From what I saw earlier, your friend, or whatever he is to you, will be okay."  
I sigh in relief and thank him as he walks away.  
I pace up and down the hallway for like an hour before a nurse comes up to me, telling me I could visit Jack now.  
I run as fast as I can, stopping in front of the closed door.  
{I hope after all I did to him, he still wants to see me.}  
I take a deep breath, and with those thoughts, I slowly open the door.


	15. Chapter 14

Sean's POV:

I cannot see anything except darkness around me.  
My body won't move, even if I try to.  
After a while in complete darkness and silence, I hear faint sobs, echoing through my pounding head.  
{W-what is this? Where am I? What is going on here?}  
I finally can feel my fingers, slowly moving them over a soft fabric.  
Seconds later, my eyes slowly opens, but my vision still blurry as I try to make out where I am.   
Suddenly I can hear a voice, sounding really familiar.   
"Jack, oh my god!! DOCTOR!! He is awake!", a man screams.   
I frowns as I slowly tilt my head in his direction.   
Immediately I can tell who the person was, sobbing in front of me.   
"M-Mark.", I breathe out weakly as my eyes met his.   
He sobs while he try to force a smile onto his lips.   
"Jack..", he sobs loudly as he gently pulls me into a hug, "i thought i have lost you".   
I nuzzle into his chest, feeling the warmth of his body surrounds me.   
"What happened Mark? Where am I?", I ask curiously, trying to remember the past few hours as I inhale Marks soothing scent.   
Mark exhales roughly and lifts my head up by my chin, "Robin... he... he beat you up after I left your house.", he gulps and looks into my eyes.   
I frown, softly gripping his shirt while trying to think about what he had just said.   
"Robin? But... h-he loves me.. he would never----", I stutter as Mark interrupts me by placing his finger over my lips.   
"Jack, get some rest okay?", he says soothingly, while I sighs and look at him.   
{I need to know what happened... I can't remember anything.."}   
I slowly shake my head no, "Mark, please... tell me what exactly happened. I only remember you standing in front of my door, and I sent you away", I mumble.   
Mark gulps and sighs, then slowly nods and starts explaining, "Well, after you sent me away... you called me... and... you asked me why I was back. You said you were happy again and that I ruined everything", he sobs while his lip starts trembling. "And... after a while, i could here Robin yelling through the call, and then I heard a sound...", he mumbles and I frown.   
"What sound?", I ask curiously.   
He looks away, trying to hide his tears as he quietly whimpers "A slapping sound.... and that was the moment I knew I had to come back."


End file.
